I Lost the Car...AND THE KIDS!

1970 Chevelle (not THE car but just like it).

I snuck out my dad's 1970 Chevelle and drove it a couple hours north to Prescott.  I parked it in a parking lot and stayed the night somewhere.  The next morning when I got up, the car was gone.  It had been towed to a local mechanic shop for some reason. 

When I found it and demanded it back, the employees started shooting at me.  I ran into some thick brush to escape.  I made my way to a hotel and asked to use the phone at the front desk.  I decided it was time to call my wife and tell her what I had done.  I would have to ask her to drive our Suburban two hours north to come pick me up because now I had no car and no money.

Just then, my mother-in-law walked down the stairs.  Hadn't seen her in years.  She said her and my dad found my daughters in the hotel lobby last night!  Had I taken them with me and forgot?  Did I actually lose my children for a whole night and not even realize it?

My three oldest girls came down the stairs but they were little girls again.  Must have been 3, 5 and 6 years old or so (in real life they are now 10, 12, and 14.)  But there they were as cute as could be with their hair in pig tails just like Wifey used to do for them.  My three littlest girls were not there.  Last down the stairs was my dad.

There wasn't much conversation about how or why, the girls simply ran over to me while dad and MIL left.  I think I told him about the Chevelle but I'm not sure now.

I couldn't get the old phone on the counter to work properly to call my wife for help.  I didn't have a cell phone.  We were stuck and I was worried.  We found some lasagna in an aluminum tray left in a banquet room at the hotel.  We snacked a little and I grabbed the tray and carried it as we left the building.

We began to wander the streets, kids and lasagna in tow, as I tried to figure out what to do next.  Stuck in a town two hours away from home with no money, transportation or cell phone.

Then I woke up. Thank goodness! I was stressing out in this stupid dream.

Would Freud say I'm a little stressed?

I'll take a stab at a post dream analysis and say I must be worried about providing for my family.  I'm not sure why I took the car.  My dad doesn't even own a Chevelle.  The one in my dream looked just like my roommate's car back in college, circa 1993. 

I don't know why my dad and mother-in-law were at the hotel in Prescott, they live in Oklahoma.  But I'm guessing my subconscious brought them in my thought to remind me of how much of a failure I'd feel to be to my dad if I couldn't take care of my own family and family responsibilities such as watching my own kids (how the heck could I not even know I took them with me?)

It was odd that I had no cell phone since I carry it everywhere I go.  And where was my money?  In this dream, I had been reduced to the clothing on my back.  It was NOT a good feeling.

The lasagna probably represented my concern for keeping my kids fed and the act of carrying it around town signified that I was worried about where the next meal would come from.  Wifey never made it into the dream and neither did my three littlest daughters.  There's probably more of the dream that I don't remember as is often the case.  But it's apparent to me that something is seeping into my subconscious (or maybe even conscious thought) warning me that I need to pay attention to my obligations.  The feelings of fear and inadequacy in the pit of my stomach for having failed my family, although just a dream, felt real enough that I can not allow it to come true...ever.

Man, I hate these dreams sometimes.

Do you remember YOUR dreams? Are they unsettling to you sometimes?

~OJD

Pink Roses, Pineapple Burgers, and Eternity.

Another enjoyable weekend at the Jeep Hacienda.  Made the most of having four days off in a row.  Enjoyed some delicious food (some from our own garden) and great company.

Isabella and Grandma, ages 5 and 59.

Grandma (my mom) had her 59th birthday and we celebrated by taking her to dinner.  I brought along a few daughters just in case the subject of age had her in the dumps.  Nothing brings on the smiles like a couple of innocent little girls.  I took my five and ten year old and met her at a Chili's restaurant near her work.  She teaches part of the curriculum for medical assisting / medical billing at a local technical school.  We talked about my girls and what they thought of their newly started school year, among other things.

She's caught in the rut of living paycheck to paycheck.  Then something will break (car, dishwasher) and she'll end up putting the repair on a credit card thus extending the never ending cycle.  I've offered to help, however I can, but she's too stubborn to accept.  She didn't think things would turn out this way as life moves on.  She's put in long, hard hours for a long time and doesn't see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore.  She used to dream with me as we'd make lists of places we'd like to visit someday: Egypt, Africa, Europe, Australia.  Last time I attempted to draw her into the game, she bluntly stated that she doesn't play that game anymore...because there's no chance of it ever happening now.  Lesson learned: Plan ahead...WAY ahead.  We parted with a hug in the Chili's parking lot and I shifted my focus to my silly girls falling haphazardly into the back of my little Jeep.

Bison burger with pineapple, bacon & terriyaki.

The next day we thawed some frozen bison from our prep freezer.  We mixed it with a little beef just to make sure the kids didn't notice the difference in taste.  I packed it into large patties and grilled them indoors on my griddles.  Nothing guarantees a rain storm like plans to grill outdoors.  Sure enough, as Wifey and I talked about grilling our bison burgers outside, the rain clouds rolled in.  To make the burgers even more delightful, we bathed them in terriyaki sauce and topped them with a pineapple ring and bacon.  You know a meal was done up right when you can reheat it the next day and it tastes exactly the same.  Luckily for me, we had a few burgers left over that night and I got to enjoy them two days in a row.

We don't stock pineapple rings at our place so it gave me the perfect excuse to run to the store.  Did I mention I was at home for four days with six girls (seven including Wifey)?  Yup, a run to the store was refreshing.  I couldn't pass up the opportunity to pick up some lovely pink roses.  The young woman at the checkout counter whispered to me with a glint of suggestion in her eye "They're only $6.99 for a dozen..."  I nodded in agreement with her female foresight and was pleased with the idea of presenting such a lovely bouquet to Wifey at such an agreeable price.  Lesson learned: A beautiful gift doesn't have to be expensive.

Mr Dark Brown Carpet...meet Mr. Bleach.

Of course, the week isn't complete without the Mayhem duo (3 year old Chloe & 5 year old Isabella) stirring up a little trouble.  We've lived in our current house since 2001 with our oldest now 14 and not once, NOT ONCE, did we ever worry about leaving the laundry bleach bottle in the laundry room.  It has a child proof cap ya know.  Well, leave it to the Mayhem sisters to not only decide to transport the bleach bottle from the laundry room to the living room but somehow the cap was also taken off the bottle. 

Now, I've bragged for at least two years now about how smart it was for me to install dark chocolate brown colored carpet in our living room because it hides every kind of spill and stain the little carpet munchers can throw at it.  Never in my dreams did I think they would cart the bleach bottle in there and dump it upside down on the dark brown carpet.  Right in a place that can't be covered by moving the couch and a throw rug would look silly tossed to that particular location near the edge.  Looks like I'll be experimenting with brown dye next weekend. Lesson learned: if they can get to it, they will...eventually.  Put it away properly.

Nothing says LOVE like roses and burgers, right?

Speaking of how smart I am, did I mention I installed locking door knobs on all the older girls rooms?  See, the big girls leave their doors open when they leave for school.  Then the little ones have an all day treasure hunt as they search for makeup, markers, scissors and such with which to destroy any last little corner of the house that happened to remain clean from the prior day.  But not with me around, no sir. Not with my superior intelligence.  I presented each older daughter with a room key and explained that this was an exercise to start preparing them for having their own dorm, apartment, or home someday.  "Keep your things locked up and safe," I'd say as I proudly handed over the keys.

Now, I was even smart enough to make spares.  One spare for each of the three daughters.  What I didn't count on was them systematically losing their keys and secretly fetching mine to use for access.  Well, this was the weekend that the oldest daughter lost the spare too...after her room door was locked...by her friend that was staying the night.  Normally, I would have told her to sleep in the living room and I'd deal with it the next day.  Locksmith if necessary, should my own skills prove a failure.  But fate chose to have it happen on a night when we had company.  Needless to say, we are now in need of a new door knob (be it the locking kind or not, I don't know yet) and some glue to put the stupid door back together.  Lesson learned: I should have made backups to the backups.

Mesa Temple, August 27 2011

I don't think I have any fellow Mormons reading my blog but I should mention that this was an unforgettable weekend for one more reason.  This past Saturday Wifey and I were Sealed for all eternity in the presence of God.  Followed by the Sealing of all my little angels.  The expression of true happiness visible on my wife's face was an image I'll never forget.  It reminded me of our wedding day 13 years ago only there wasn't a hint of worry on her face this time ;-)  All my little angels, gowned in dresses of pure white, completed our family circle as we smiled in God's presence.  Lesson learned: through God, all things are possible.

We ended the weekend with some potatoes from our garden.  Five year old baked one and gobbled it up sprinkled with cheese while big Sister attempted to make potato chips using vegetable oil and a deep pan.  I took my prerequisite short nap to bolster me through my first night shift back at work.  It only took about two hours into my shift before Wifey and I were texting each other about how we wish I was still home.  It's strange what you realize at 3am sometimes.  Today, at 3am, I realized that witnessing the worst bleach spot on my dark carpet is still better... than the best day... at work.

Lesson learned: enjoy every minute.

~OJD

Time Flies

My motto for the past week.



Wow, time really flies sometimes. I've been posting daily for over three months (many times more than daily) and all of the sudden, I look at my blog and I haven't posted anything in three days!
I should've planned that better but the problem is...I didn't plan at all! Starting last Friday, I stayed busy with several projects around the house:

• added more shelves in Wifey's craft room.
• added more shelving in my garage (more tools have a home now).
• did some church service Sunday after church (amazing how good that feels).
• made the trek to Ikea again (looking for more home improvement ideas).
• and the usual mundane stuff: haircut, gasin' up the cars, yardwork, etc

So, time to start firing up some blog posts. I have at least three days worth of blog reading to do from all the blogs I have subscribed. 

Don't forget there's a few days left in our contest so if you haven't clicked "Follow" or "Like" yet, don't miss out! There's some terrific prizes up for grabs.

Lessons Learned Staying At Home

You used my WHAT?!...as a WHAT?!
(Image courtesy of Warner Bros.)

Wifey has our three oldest daughters on a weekend Grand Session retreat and I, lucky soul that I am, get the pleasure of spending a few days at  home with our three toddlers. Although I am getting an increasingly stronger knot up the right side of my neck, I am learning some very valuable lessons. Why not share?

Lesson #1: Diversity.
There is NO way, at ANY given time, that ALL three girls will agree on the same activity. Luckily for me, the two year old will agree with anything upon receiving Cheetos. Majority rules!

Lesson #2: Tolerance
After hugging his neck in a choke hold fashion, tugging his leg when he tries to sneak away, or being cornered by three squealing little girls, our newly adopted eight year old Cocker Spaniel has yet to even act like it bothers him.

Lesson #3: Think before you speak...er, make an offer.
On day two of our "what are we going to do now" fun-athon, I offered to load everyone up in the Orange Jeep and hit the local Sonic. Sounded easy enough...in my head...without REALLY thinking about. The girls were excited about it as well and quickly ran about looking for shoes and scrunchies.   It wasn't until AFTER I let the excitement build that I realized I had to hook in car seats...during a heat advisory. So, not only was it 105 degrees outside, it was also a seemingly 200 degrees INSIDE the Jeep where my big six foot three self had to climb in and lock the seats in place. Oh, and air conditioning helps little with a soft top. I won't be doing THAT again.

Lesson 4: Possibilities are endless.
It is, to my amazement, possible to forget to wipe, flush, and/or turn the light off...27 times in ONE day. Heck, I didn't even know it was possible to waddle from couch to toilet with pants dropped to the ankles THAT fast. These kids are adaptable!

Lesson 5: Security can be thwarted...and sometimes WAY too easily.
Even if the door is locked, with the key on TOP of the door jamb, a determined three year old can still open the adjoining window and climb into mom's craft room (we added onto the house, so once "outside" windows are now "inside" windows.) You'd be amazed at how much floor space unwound ribbon can fill.

Lesson 6: Limitations are only bound by imagination.
Just because you block off or lock up most of the house and anything that you THINK may become a huge mess doesn't mean that your toddler won't find something seemingly harmless and simple (TOOTHPASTE) and resurface your bathroom sink with it. At least my little Rembrandt left a little in the tube.

Lesson 7: You can be anything you want to be.
You can be a mermaid, Rapunzel, an Island Princess, a fairy, a Musketeer, or Thumbelina. Especially if you are Barbie. Oh, and you can have a Diamond Castle AND a Pegasus.

Lesson 8: Schedule schmedule.
Your schedule is just that...YOUR schedule. Just because it is 3am and MOST people are sleeping doesn't mean that you won't wake to a two year old needing to go potty (yay for potty training, boo for doing it at 3am.) Sleep is now considered a privilege.

I'll have to stop there. Not because the lessons have stopped but because my concentration on this posting have been interrupted for a billionth time. Now, first things first, where's that Advil...

Half Boy...Half Girl

Are they called tights? Stockings? Not sure

.

Time for Dad to get a haircut. As with any chore "away from home," I chose one child to go with me. Wifey and I do this in an attempt to get some one-on-one time with each of our six girls.

I finally figured out a way to be "fair" and avoid the dreaded argument "...but SHE got to go LAST time!" I use a Droid app called COLORNOTE. I created a list with each daughter's name. Each time a daughter goes with me on an errand, a quick click on her name marks it with a strike-through mark. Done! One less drama in a house FULL of drama (sometimes.)

Anyway, back to the reason for the post.
Due to arriving at the Sports Clips shortly after a Dad with two boys, all needing haircuts, I had a little time to kill. My five year old and I snuck next door for a little yogurt from The Golden Spoon. As we nibbled our candy-coated yogurt, two unusually dressed boys entered to chit chat with the teeny bopper behind the counter.

One boy had jeans cut off as shorts and cuffed with black stockings underneath. Jewelry gleamed from their faces like one of my preteen's bling'd-out cell phones from a couple years ago.

After examining the boys' attire, the following discussion ensued:

5 year old: "Daddy, I thought only girls wore those kinda pants?"

Me: "Yes honey, they do."

...a few minutes passes by.

5 year old states matter-of-factly: "Daddy...that boy is half girl."

Trying not to choke on my yogurt, I snickered "Yes honey, he is."

Focus on Beneficial LIFE Skills

5 of 6 daughters were in cheer or tumbling
and we were WAY too busy running around.

This summer, our family is focusing more on basic skills like gardening, sewing, canning, dutch oven cooking, and shooting and less on activities that might not be of much use later in life...specifically...Competitive and Performance Cheer.

 While our girls DID enjoy the activity of cheer practice with all the cartwheels, front walkovers, backhand springs and the such, what wasn't enjoyed was the snottiness of the spoiled teammates, the overpriced add-ons (hair bows, makeup kits, shoes, cheer uniforms...and on and on and on), and the price tag waiting at the end of the season if you wanted to travel to another state to watch them compete in Nationals. Did they get exercise...yes. Did they learn a skill that would help them as adults...hardly. Don't even get me started on how much time and gas we spent driving back and forth to practice (two girls on one Competitive Cheer team, eldest on another Competitive Cheer team, 5 year old in Performance Cheer, 3 year old in tumbling).

It was a hard sell at first. Wifey was heavily involved in cheer and dance growing up. She was so good, she won Star Search (you know, Ed McMann Star Search.) She wanted her girls to feel the joy of accomplishment that cheer and dance brought in her youth. After some time, she realized that she had invested so much of her life into cheer because she didn't have anything else to do. Our girls are quite the opposite. They were turning down things left and right because they had an obligation to a cheer team, 2-3 nights each week with competitions on Saturdays. Don't forget the additional "Clinics" on the side. For an additional fee, they could get more one-on-one time with the coach to work on skills. Homework AND chores were suffering and the girls were staying up past midnight on school nights to get homework done.

Crisscross fire next to our chimney starter.

One of our choices this year was to ditch the cheer team and spend more time with the Job's Daughters group that my girls had joined right before cheer started. In 2010, they missed out on being in two parades, going to a circus, a mini beach vacation, a campout and several minor events. This year...they're doing it all! Cheer didn't end until the end of April so they missed the 2011 campout. But we're doing everything else that comes along. The Jobie girls are much more friendly, respectful and genuinely care about each other. There are frequent "secret sister" gift exchanges, numerous service projects and later this month will be a state-wide conference called Grand Session for an entire weekend, including a craft fair. My girls are excited to enter their crocheting and sewing projects. One daughter is trying to learn cross stitching from youtube to complete a pillow case.

And today, what a great day! I spent a few hours showing my girls how to start fires! YES! I showed them how to build the tee pee, criss-cross, and star configured wood fire. We used a butane torch lighter, weatherproof matches, regular lighter, and a flint rod for variety. Then we practiced two ways to put out the fire: cover it with earth and douse it with water. I hadn't thought much of these activities in the past. We were always so busy. I found out today that NONE of my girls could even start a Bic lighter. Gasp! We always told them to stay away from lighters and matches when they were younger. Obviously they did if they can't flick a Bic. Watching them create a spark from the flint rod was fun too. But slowly, they all got it ( the little ones watched Blue Clues with Mommy.)

Half eaten dutch oven cornbread and brownies

I also taught my 12 and 13 year old how to start a charcoal fire in a chimney starter for dutch oven cooking. We cooked homemade cornbread and enjoyed it with our chili dinner. Wifey also made her first batch of homemade brownies. Homemade means ground the flour and made the recipe from scratch. Mmmmm.

Yes sir, the girls are learning some useful skills this summer.  Best of all...we're doing it together, as a family.

Update: The girls brought home three medals (two 1st place and one 2nd place) for their craft projects at Grand Session!  Now they're even MORE excited about improving their skills!

America: Post Nuclear Blast

Started watching the tv series Jericho this weekend with the whole family. I knew very little of the plot other than it was set in a small town and the plot was dealing with life post nuclear explosion. Jericho is actually the name of the small American town where the story plays out.

We're only on episode five but it has been VERY interesting. I have seen it mentioned numerous times on SurvivalBlog as a post catastrophic survival series. Now that I've become interested in watching, I've gone back to SurvivalBlog and done a dedicated search for the word "Jericho."

This search turned up numerous articles referencing the series. Several people mention how their prepping REALLY got kicked into high gear after watching this show. Many people used it to open the eyes of their spouses as to why they need to prep for emergencies. One person went back and re-watched the series to get ideas on how the citizens of the town communicated after all the electronics stopped working.

I was actually asked many good questions from my daughters as the story unfolded. "How long does a nuclear explosion last," "what would we do if that happened to us," etc. This gave me a backdrop to explain the uses of our Bug Out Bags, besides just going hiking, the purpose of a retreat, etc.

I won't recommend it as a "must see" show on survival until I watch the whole thing myself. I will say that a quick IMDB search indicates the series was stopped before season two ended and I'm pretty bummed about that. I just hope, as Wifey verbalized, that this show isn't a Hollywood preview of our future...like Oil Storm.

Adding Storage With a Wall Niche



Two niches cut into the living room wall (while the kids
watched an episode of Barney)

 Saturday was a very productive day at the Compound de Orange Jeep Dad. The oldest two daughters were dropped off at church by 7am. They spent a good part of the day volunteering at the Special Olympics in Mesa. Teenage enrichment activity...check.

Back home by 7:30 and planted pumpkins in the front flower bed. If calculations are correct, we should have PLENTY of pumpkins by halloween. Saving money on future halloween decorations and pies...check.

Planted cucumbers and watermelons in the backyard. Down to one small area of EMPTY garden now. Once it is gone, I may start re-planting in the raised box gardens if I don't see more growth from the carrots. Future veggies to munch...check.

Lots of space added where there used to be none

Then the biggest chore of the day. On the recent topic of extra storage, wifey asked me to add some shelving next to the main television. In my usual research fashion, I visited youtube for a quick lesson in carpentry. Turns out what I'm about to create is called a "wall niche."

The rest of the day was spent sawing, nailing, and arguing with wood. The shelves are in. Next will be sealing seams, a final sanding, and painting the finished product. Oh, and BIG trim to cover up my mistakes.

Improving sadly lacking carpentry skills...check.

Update: Wall niche is complete. Click here for the final pictures.

The Orange Jeep Got Egged!

We spent last evening celebrating Easter with family. It was a terrific evening with lots of good conversation and delicious food. Today we'll be celebrating at  home and going to church this afternoon.


Gotta run, there's some chocolate with my name on it!

Eggs in the backyard

Six little girls get six little Easter baskets

Happy Easter!

Date Night Topic: Top 5 Reasons for Divorce

We were blessed tonight with the invitation of a Date Night event at our church. I've never been to one so I had no idea what to expect. With six daughters, a "date night" is somewhat of a unicorn concept: I've heard of it but can't remember the last time I saw one :-)

After our teen/preteen aged children were set up with dinner and chores, we headed to our church. Upon arrival we found about ten tables set up with about four couples per table. We helped ourselves to a generous amount of homemade lasagna and salad. Someone snuck in Papa John's cheese breadsticks and they were wonderful too.

Towards the end of our dinner, our Bishop stood up and announced that he had a topic of discussion he wanted to share with us. As a divorce lawyer, he admitted that he never dreamed as a child that his field of expertise would end up being prenuptual agreements and he wondered how all this divorce experience would ever serve him and those around him.

For the next 45 minutes, he shared with us the top five reasons that he has personally seen destroy marriages. He hoped that by sharing his experience with us regarding what he has seen ruin so many other marriages would enable us to make our marriages more successful and avoid the many pitfalls in our society today.

He estimates he has mediated around 1000 divorces and these five problems are the majority of the causes for marriage failures.

#5 - Unmedicated mental illness. This is regarding people who have known mental issues but choose NOT to medicate properly. Some medicate improperly with alcohol or other drugs which causes problems. Some refuse to follow their presciption medication for whatever reason and it leads to problems. When asked which mental illness he saw most, he stated Depression.

#4 - "Hen-pecking" is what he called it. He also verbalized a disclaimer that he was not solely singling out women as the perpetrators. This is a catch phrase more popularly called "nagging." He said it leads to diminished self esteem and that can certainly lead to an unhappy marriage. He sees it in both men and women, where one spouse constantly "rides" the other about not doing things the "right" way. After years of trying to please the spouse, some people choose to give up and divorce.



#3 - Pornography. This needs no explaination. What I did learn though was that different people classify pornography in different ways. Some people see the front page of tabloids at the grocery market checkout stands displaying partially see-through bathing suits as being pornographic. Others think it has to have the word Playboy or complete nudity to be considered porn. Regardless, he states he is seeing less and less of this as a reason for divorce. It IS common to see it grouped with one or more of the top five listed here, but it is not seen by itself as much as he thought it would. He emphasized that he in NO way is downplaying pornography as an important issue. He simply stated that it can be dealt with, repented for, and fixed. Other issues on this list (especially #1) can't be simply medicated or repented.

#2 - Sex. I did not hear whether he was reporting on problems with sexual relations between marriage partners, per se, or problems of infedelity (sex outside the marriage.) Regardless, he stated that although this definitely ranked in the top two of acts that led to divorce, he clearly verbalized that it was no where near as common as the number one reason for divorce.

#1 - Debt. We talked about how, in our society today, it is consciously acceptible to buy things on credit, take on massive debt, AND brag about it. The phrase "Keeping up with the Joneses" was used to demonstrate how so many people buy the latest gadget, newest car, biggest house on the block just to (attempt to) impress other people. He noted how his grandparents bought their house for $25,000 (a LONG time ago) and never attempted to refinance. During the housing bubble, this $25k house would have sold for $700,000 and yet they stayed. Their generation paid cash for everything and put nothing on credit. His main point was that money isn't everything. His grandparents had very little money, still have very little money and have lived a full and happy life.

So there you have it. A successful divorce attorney sharing his first-hand knowledge on how to avoid divorce. I study many resources but when it comes to first-hand knowledge, theories and hypotheses go to the back of the line.